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You Might Be Right

by Happy Accidents

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1.
These thoughts sat in recesses of our heads have us analysing ceilings from our beds. In a world where its looked down upon to vent, so much of worth will not be said. And having been all on my own for such a time, its kinda strange to have a person in my life who believes one day I'll achieve some piece of mind. You're probably wrong but you might be right. And everything is fine. On the train back home I'm more than just alive. Can't comprehend what took my head for such a time. I'm sat here trying to let in light through weary eyes cause I'm half asleep but I feel alive.
2.
Not that smart but I compensate with enthusiasm. Most of the time I'll try to, or at least when I can be bothered. Not going out too much but I've mastered the knack of overstating I am so you do not suspect that. But as a matter of fact, I'm alright with it. And though I smile, all the while I'm just wondering how long before I can leave. When I do, all aint fine, I'm left wondering if there's something wrong with me, till next week. Yeah you seem pretty cool so I wait for a catch on the horizon. I try to keep my nervous energy from taking the form of quirky tangents. Cause I could fuck this up, if i do not relax, but then in trying to relax I just come off as a twat. But despite knowing that, I still try to relax. Why can't I just enjoy anything?
3.
We loop in the same circles, its true. We talk because it seems like something to do. But I notice that the words I spoke don't seem to be getting through. And I forget that I probably feel the same about you. I long to make a polite exit as soon as the endless conversation's ended, cause I knew that I don't inhabit the same wavelength as you would like me to do, and i forget that I probably feel the same about you.
4.
Chameleon 02:20
Yeah I want the mundane to be thought of exciting so when I'm asked what i've been up to, I won't be tempted to lie. And I'ma be, a social chameleon, forever changing who I am, still never fooling no one. But if who you know dictates what you achieve, and I know all these strangers who so graciously put up with me - if you you know really is the key, I'll leave them be. Don't want to have to drink to make these three hours bareable. I wish they had the merit to just be better on their own. But lately I've been struggling pissed or not, trying to change how I react to awkwardness with ethanol.
5.
Quiet 03:24
Bodies cram into hollow tubes that move beneath the ground. Although at large we are the same, the time and place for talk aint now. And so from A to Z, you keep your eyes glued to your legs. Too close to be comfortable, creating distance in your head. We're all alike in that we'd like nothing more than to stay quiet. When you surface circumstances don't seem to change that much. Swarms of bees stand between the place you're going and where you are. The public on this day is a faceless mass that may eat brains. Charge straight them anyway to get to where you may get paid. Until one day there is a crisis, out the corner of your eye you see what appears to be a face you once knew, and would be pleased to see, but years have passed and though you plead she's now heading your way. Pleasantries are exchanged and you try to laugh off your shame that things have largely remained much the same. Hours after you replay it in your head, but with you saying more interesting things, never dreaming that through the meeting she was thinking much the same.
6.
Spinning 03:24
We've been spending way too much time, for what school drilled in me was fine for just good friends of mine, the weekend got off to a good shit start. But we pulled it back and for the next few days we barely parted. Though we got on so great, I can't think of you that way. Why through out what we've got? 'I'm contented, are you not?', is what I guess we thought. And I was driving, we lost control. I realised before her the car was moving on it's own and well, I started screaming, while she kept calm. When the spinning stopped we realised we were free from harm. And though we got home so safe, it could have gone both ways. Though we could have died, hazard lights on the roadside, pretending all was fine. Feeling I can't find, stuck within plutonic binds, fear held firm inside. Then again wondering if there's something we're missing has got me wondering. What if?
7.
Impossible scenes are playing out in front of me. I'm deaf to the sirens, I've heard them one to many times. Impossible scenes pervading every room i'm in, but if it wasn't routine, not sure that I'd be functioning. And all who I've loved in my life will be facts and figures in time. All of my friends - not for lack of trying - will be facts and figures in time. I feel it closing in on me, not option now to scream, can't make a scene. Not human nature just to be indoors staring at screens. Is that healthy? The more I think, the more I need to pack my things and leave in search of air to breathe. Surely it can't be only me with an itch to up flee? Don't sit next to me.
8.
Running 03:05
So many pools I am yet to dip toes in at all now, and all of these goals - big and small - yet I can't pull my foot out. Limbs aside, am I leaking time? Can you plug it? Cause day after day I just speculate and do nothing. It's all well and fine till the question pops into my mind. Are we always just running out of time? How many times do you think that I've blinked in my lifetime? Will there be solace if I then acknowledge my lifespan and resist the sense of self in which I'm wired. Realise that I can not hide, remember I'm not at my highest rung and go with the instinct to get up and run.
9.
There's certain things I ask of all my friends, you've not got them. A standard of respect I can't pretend that it's there and you've made choices that I would never do, and I can't wait to get the hell away from you. One day I figured out I have a choice not to be here, there's more to than laughing at your jokes, you can't see it. I've made choices, that our time here is through, and I can't wait to get the hell away from you. All of this time I'd forgot my sense of pride and once in a while, I'll answer the phone but it tends to remind me that I'm the same old person I was then, I'm no different. I'm slightly lighter lacking my gangrene limb, are you bitter? Of all my choices, I'd rank this one or two, and I can't wait to get the hell away from you. I'm so glad that I'm so far away from you.
10.
Coexist 02:46
It’s been a long day, I’m beginning to think that there may not be a way back from this. And I’m sick of the idea that I have to choose between what I want and then what suits you. So let’s try and find a compromise, a place where we both are satisfied to coexist, to work through this. We’ve spent too much energy on it. And honestly, if you look at me, I know that you’d know how well I mean. All we need to do is to talk it through and start clean. I admit that I know I’m a pain but it’s too damn rare that you ever share you’re the same. For the last thousand times I’ve learnt that the best way out is to just converse it away.
11.
I can’t remember just how we got to this likely self-esteem related argument. At the time I was rational and proud, but the smoke clears, I stand here embarrassed and worn out. What were we talking about? I’m sorry I am late, we’ve wasted half our day, so can we go and work this out and be okay? I’ll be the first to say sorry for sorry’s sake, but can we go and work this out and be okay? I’m two or three tangents from what I meant to say, you’re a heap of excuses I hope loosely translates to ‘lets try another day’. Every time you then see my stupid face, I’m reminded of things that I can no longer erase. I will not try, I will keep quiet, I will take every chance I find to make things right.

about

Our debut album out on Alcopop! Records.

credits

released July 1, 2016

Neil Mandell - Bass, vocals
Phoebe Cross - Drums, vocals
Rich Mandell - Guitar, vocals

Recorded in November 2015 at Greenmount Studios with Jamie Lockhart, Rob Slater and Lee Smith
Mastered by Carl Rosamond
Additional trumpet on track 7 by Lewis Millward
Cover photo by Lydia Cross

Thanks to everyone who’s ever supported or helped us in any possible way.

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Happy Accidents London, UK

Rich and Pheebs, Pheebs and Rich

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